Haunted
by will think of something soon
Summary: When life hurts, you fight back. When your loved ones hurt, you fight for them. So Ayuzawa Misaki always fought. But when the strongest falls, what do you do? How do you fight the one you were fighting for? Misaki doesn't know what haunts him, but for all that he means to her, she has come clean with herself and decided to fight beside the man who always fought alone. DISCONTINUED!
1. dark desires

**Hey, everyone. This is my first Maid-sama fanfic and if i say I'm excited then that is an understatement. Its set in the end of the academic session. Everything is same as the first season of Maid-sama except for the last episode i,e..Usui and Misaki haven't confessed their love for each other. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Though I wouldn't mind having Usui to myself...  
><strong>

**Misaki has finally admitted her love for Usui to herself and Usui is fighting against his emotions. He has a dark past, filled with secrets that he does not want to remember. And now, it is happening again with Misaki involved. But how much can Usui take before he snaps? After all, every mountain has cracks and every wound leaves its scar...**

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><p>The morning breeze scattered his honey blond hair as he stared into the sky. The roof of the Seika High School was deserted except for his six feet two inches tall frame that sat idly on the edge of the school's main entrance wall. Everyone was gathered in the main hall, cheering as the session ended and dreading the one that was soon to begin. Away from it all, he just waited on the empty roof. His deep green eyes bore into the sky, as if challenging it to crash down on him and relieve his head of its painful memories. But that was unlikely to happen and the rational part of him knew that.<p>

Usui sighed as he shut his eyes and lay back, half of his body dangling dangerously from the wall. But apparently, falling almost 35 feet and breaking quite a few bones wasn't that big a concern for him at the moment. No, he had better things to worry about, like the urgent voices calling out his name repeatedly, trying to find the student of the year as his award waited in the hall. Usui did not want to be found. He had no intention of running down and apologizing as he collected the award that every student craved for. All he wanted was for the dumb academic evaluation to end. And until it didn't, he would stay right there on the roof.

"Usui, you pervert, you better come out already or I'm gonna kill you when I find you!" A small smile formed on Usui's lips as he heard the irritated but sweet voice threaten his life – Misaki. From the faint sound, he surmised that she was searching for him in the classrooms. Good.

He loved the over-bearing and acutely short tempered prez. Despite his dark mood and the fear in his heart, she had the power to make him smile. Nothing else could amuse him now. And nothing amused him like his heart's reaction to her. Every time she stood in front of him, scolding him for things he couldn't help or declaring him to be a 'stupid perverted alien', his heart relaxed, warmed somehow. Her innocence made him happy and whenever he was with her, the weight of the world seemed to fade away from his shoulders.

Even now, he felt his tension ease and he had only heard her voice! Amusing, indeed!

Usui vaguely wondered what the reason for his absence was, according to her. That he was shy maybe? Nah! She'd probably think that his 'perverted alien friends' had taken him away! Lost in his own assumptions, Usui was oblivious to both the big stupid smile on his face and the fuming girl who had just barged in through the roof door!

Finding Usui lying on the roof without a care in the world after she'd scoured the whole school for him like a mad woman did not leave Misaki in a good mood. And the tentative smile on his relaxed face but fueled her frustration. Clenching her fists on her sides, she snapped at him, determined to give him a piece of her mind.

"TAKUMI USUI!" she roared. Jumping up in surprise, Usui almost fell off the roof. He had barely steadied himself as two petite hands grabbed the collar of his shirt in a strong grip, forcing him to look into a pair of molten golden eyes glaring back at him. Usui felt his heart race at the sight of Misaki's face, flushed with rage and just inches from his. As he looked at her face with her brows squished together over her huge almond eyes and her supple lips drawn into a grim line, Usui realized two things at the same time – first that if looks could kill, he would have dropped dead on the spot and second that he had never seen anything more beautiful than an enraged Misaki.

"Who the hell do you think you are, you stupid stupid pervert! You know that you are wanted at the ceremony and what do you do? You rest on the roof, enjoying the breeze as I go around searching for you like an idiot! How dare you, you….you idiot! You're most horrible, irresponsible pervert that its ever been my misfortune to know! Now you hurry up and come with me before I have to drag you down or break your nose or…."

Misaki rambled on, oblivious to Usui's discomfort. He was leaning away from her, trying his best not to lose control. The soft, full lips that were shouting at him, just a breath away from his own were inviting the latter. He fought against force of his emotions with all his might but kissing her was seeming to be too tempting and he felt his rational side losing. Maybe just a small little kiss...No! He wouldn't take advantage of her. The fact that she was subconsciously leaning towards him in her rage, was definetly not helping his case. What made it even worse was that she did it all unintentionally. Damn.

Misaki's temper seemed to be growing like wild fire as she kept on tormenting Usui like a poor lamb in the hands of a butcher. No, not a butcher but the devil himself! As she came dangerously close, it took everything that he had for Usui to break free. He stumbled back a few paces, his heartbeat ringing in his ears as he felt her lingering breath on his face, the feel of her fingers on his neck and her smell, her beautiful evil intoxicating smell….and almost fell off the roof again!

Misaki was still roaring at Usui as she saw him lose his footing on the edge of the roof. Her heart clenched as if someone had squished it into a ball and her breath caught – Usui was going to fall off the roof! And instantly all her anger vanished into thin air.

"Usui!" she cried as she grabbed him by the arm and pulled as hard as she could, crashing both of them onto the floor. As Usui lay on top of Misaki, the world seemed to stop for the two, the deathly silence broken only by their wheezy breathing. The scary episode had left both of them too shocked to react. And they just lay their, subconsciously holding each other in a death hold, lost in their own thoughts.

A moment later Usui, realizing where he was, sprang off Misaki like he had woken up from a trance, the shock of almost plunging 35 feet down replaced by the force of his love. He wanted nothing more than to spend his life with her, right there on the roof, on top of her. But he couldn't let his emotions rule him - this wasn't about what he wanted to do but what should be done. And for her sake and his own, he could never love her. As he fought to keep standing, Usui felt dazed. His eyes were so wide that it hurt. His heart was pounding so fast that he could feel it in every nerve ending. She was just so innocent and breath taking that he couldn't seem to be his rational self in her presence. A small smile on her heart shaped face and he felt like a five year old kid who was seeing his first rainbow. Damn. Damn, damn, damn. Shaking his head to clear it, he tried to focus on the situation but the throbbing of blood in his head was impossible to ignore. She drove him mad and he would be lying if he said he didn't like it.

"Mis-saki! Are y-you all ri-ight?" Usui's voice was as unsteady as his feet as he forced the words out. Misaki was still lying on the cold floor, her eyes as wide as his as she stared at him blankly, paralysed by shock and yet so beautiful.

When she didn't react in any way, Usui started to worry. Had she hit her head? A small doubt started eating his heart as ecstasy was replaced by fear. He dropped next to her in a flash and placing her hand in one of his while stroking her forehead with the other, he spoke in the most soothing voice he could muster at the moment, "Misaki, can you hear me? Are you fine? Come on, answer me. Misaki?"

As her eyes focused on his worried ones she nodded once. Usui let out the breath he didn't know he had been holding. She was responding and that was a start. He felt her eyes go over his frame to make sure that nothing was broken and couldn't help feeling a little self-conscious.

Usui smiled at his own discomfort. His own childishness surprised and as always, amused him. Here he was, a sensible, practical man with more experience of life than anyone should ever have, being driven nuts by a high-school beauty. He was a man of much suffering, that too in silence. He had always vowed to himself to never let anything hurt him again; he wouldn't love. He knew what it felt like to have your heart torn to pieces and thrown on the ground and also how to put it back together again. But the scars remained, they never left….

Forcing his dark thoughts away, Usui gently helped Misaki into a sitting position. Hastily running a hand through her hair, he inspected her head for damage. No blood, no lumps. Good. Now for a concussion..

"Three" Misaki called in a disgusted voice and Usui smiled as he withdrew his hand. No concussion. Ignoring the glares thrown in his direction – apparently, Misaki did not like to be tested for a concussion by having to count the number of fingers in front of her eyes – Usui helped her stand. She was wobbly and breathing a little harder than normal but not much worse for wear.

"Does anything hurt or feel broken?" he asked, trying to keep the concern out of his voice. Misaki looked up at him but he refused to meet her gaze. He was concerned but he wasn't going to let it show. Now it was her turn to smile. "I'm fine Usui, really. Just had the breath knocked out of me. Stop worrying so much, okay?"

"Why should I worry?" Usui mumbled, trying to sound nonchalant and looking everywhere but at her. He hated to be caught and of course she would taunt him.

Neither of them spoke for a moment. Misaki was waiting for him to say something and though she would never admit it, she was content to just stand there with his arms holding her up. As for Usui, he was just as happy as her. Well, except for the small voice in the back of his head that was warning him against his actions but he ignored it. He would punish himself later but for now, he couldn't let her go, not even if his life had depended on it. And then there was this tiny worry in his heart - she could be hiding her pain.

"Lets get you to the infirmary. I'm not as light as cotton candy after all." He finally said, with a wink in her direction. He was rewarded too, as she blushed tomato red, knowing exactly what he was talking about.

"I told you I'm fine. I'm not going to….holy shit, the ceremony! Oh God, I forgot! Usui, we need to get there, your name will be announced any minute now. You need to be there for your award. Come on, we gotta hurry up and…Usui?"

Misaki's outburst faltered as she noticed Usui stiffen and walk away from her. What was wrong with him? Exasperated, she walked over to him and tugged at his arm. "Come on now Usui, we need to go. People are waiting for –"

"I'm not coming."

"What?"

"You heard me, I'm not coming."

"What's wrong with you? Its your award. Hell, it's the award I wanted! You have to collect it, you're the highest scorer of the year."

"I don't want it, now leave me alone."

Misaki frowned. Something was bothering Usui and she could see that he was avoiding her. But he just had to come and collect an award! What was so complicated about the whole thing? She didn't know, but she was determined to find out.

"What is it, Usui? Why don't you want to come? The truth please."

Usui eyed the angelic prez standing in front of him, with her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes locked on his. He sighed. She wasn't going to make this easier for him. Well, he wasn't giving in either. He couldn't go to the function. Not when he knew that it meant having to relive his past. No, he would rather die than live through his life again.

"Its none of your business, Ayuzawa. Now I would appreciate it if you would stop pushing yourself at me and get your ass out of here." Usui's voice was ice cold as he spoke, meeting her glares with his own cold ones. Misaki's eyes widened at his words and her anger flared up. Usui met her gaze with just as much ferocity.

"Why you unmindful dog! I should have just let you fall off the dammed roof!" her anger was flowing unrestricted now. He thought that she was pushing herself at him? She? She loved him and he thought it was lust? How could Usui say that!

Usui laughed scornfully at her words. That laughter chilled Misaki to the bone – it was scary, dark. He caught her by the arm, towering over her. Her arm ached in his hold and his demeanour scared her but she refused to show it. Instead, she glared right back at him. "You think I'll lick the dirt off your dammed feet just because you saved me a few cracks, do you? Well let me tell you something prez, you are dead wrong! I never asked you to pull me on top of you right now. That was the bloody whore that lives inside of you. And you know what, I think I should just give you what you've been asking me for since the day I saw your bloody face."

"No! Us-sui, stop please, you're hurting me!" Misaki stared back at him in horror. Her arm was really hurting now and it was sure to retain the marks of his hand. But the physical pain wasn't the only one. Colour drained from her face as his words ate at her heart. She was very scared now, hell, she was terrified of him! She did not know this stranger who was holding her prisoner in his arms and tearing her heart apart. Where did the cool, collected, charming man she loved go? She only knew one thing - this wasn't her Usui.

"Scared of me, aren't you? You should be." Usui smiled at her, tightening his hold as his voice turned into a husky whisper and his eyes burnt into hers till she cringed away. "I won't let you win, Misa-chan. I'll fight you, I'll fight till my last breath. I won't let you hurt me. It will be different, this time. I won't die. Not again." Usui let go of Misaki as he said the last words. His anger had dissipated completely and he was trembling, a haunted look in his eyes.

Misaki did not know what to do. She was afraid but not of him anymore. She was afraid for him. She didn't know what Usui had meant, didn't know how he had been hurt but she knew one thing – she was going to help him. He needed her and she would be there for him like he had always been for her.

"I'll never hurt you, Usui. I love you."

Usui's eyes flashed up to meet hers. Caught by surprise, he stopped trembling in anger and fear and focused on her, searching for signs of betrayal. She was standing in front of him, one hand outstretched in his direction and two molten eyes fixed on his with a solemn promise in them. She said she loved him, she wouldn't hurt him…maybe she meant it. He felt his heart warm. Maybe he could love her. Maybe it would all stop. Maybe he could be happy. Maybe he could smile. Maybe he wouldn't be hurt…

_But what if she is lying?_a small voice spoke up inside of him. He had been lied to before. He had been 'loved' and then ripped apart. He had been tormented after being told that he wouldn't be hurt. He had been burnt, he had been cut, he had been sold and then….then he had been 'loved'! He had been loved more than he ever wanted to.

"I hate to be loved." Usui whispered before he jumped off the roof. He felt numb as the air flew past him and he plunged towards the ground. That was all he wanted – to be numb forever. He hated to hurt, to remember. He hated the sound of his screams. He hated the light, he hated the dark. He hated Misaki. He hated love and he hated himself.

The last thing he remembered before losing consciousness was never wanting to wake up again….

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><p><strong>Something has been taken <strong>**from deep inside of me **  
><strong>A secret I've kept locked away, <strong>**no one can ever see **  
><strong>Wounds so deep they never show, <strong>**they never go away **  
><strong>Like moving pictures in my head, <strong>**for years and years they've played**  
><strong>Sometimes I remember <strong>**the darkness of my past **  
><strong>Bringing back these memories <strong>**I wish I didn't have **  
><strong>Sometimes I think of letting go <strong>**and never looking back **  
><strong>And never moving forward so <strong>**there would never be a past **

**- 'Easier to run' by Linkin Park  
><strong>

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><p><strong>So what do you think? What happened to Usui? Its happening again? Whats wrong with an award? What does Misaki do know? And most importantly, does Usui's wish come true?<strong>

**Wanna know? I'll help you. Just click that purple button and tell me what you think and I'll get back to you. Or else... (lolz)  
><strong>

**So, come on click it! Critisicm is welcome but flames are not. Now move the mouse and clickerty-click!  
><strong>

**- dark**


	2. when time tells the tale

**Hey, guys. Yeah its me, no kidding. An update. I know, I know its been so long! Sorry! To keep it short – I had my school results, got a new part-time job, life is busy as hell and the only time I can update is the weekends which didn't seen to be free. Some of you may not believe it but I updated as soon as I could.**

**Disclaimer: When did I own anything? This is like rubbing salt on wounds...:(**

**Thanks to 'usui usui usui', 'kitty', 'anonymous', 'itloveit', 'nice', 'jeanxxx', 'GhostRider' and 'ilovespike' for their reviews. Since you guys are 'un-signed up', I couldn't personally thank you. But your reviews mean a lot too! Thx! :)**

**Thx to my other reviewers and alert-ies, favorite story-ies and favorite author-ies!**

**And I also have a request guys. Please read chapter 1 before getting on with this chapter. I wrote this chapter and felt sad. But when I read both the chapters together I seriously cried. And I wanna know if it happens to anyone else. It'll help you connect so please read them together, please. On with this now,….**

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><p><strong><em>"I hate to be loved." Usui whispered before he jumped off the roof.<em>**

_**The last thing he remembered before losing consciousness was never wanting to wake up again….**_

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><p><strong>dark<strong>

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><p>A small red bulb. That was what Misaki had been staring at for a time span she could not remember anymore. She just kept staring.<p>

Something caressed her shoulder – a hand? She tore her gaze away from the red to face her supporter. It was Kanou, his bespectacled blue eyes troubled and his features stiff.

"It will be alright, Misa-chan." He spoke in a soft voice that was very kind. But clearly, he was acting more confident than he ever felt. All of them – Yukimura, Sakura, Shizoko, the teachers, the student council and the rest - were in fact doing the same. Putting on a deceiving smile but their truthful eyes gave away their lies. They were all trying to comfort her, she knew. But for some strange reason, she couldn't feel them. As if she were reduced to a spectator of her own life. She watched them, heard them but she couldn't believe in them. They were unreal.

So instead of lying back to their lies, Misaki turned to what felt real to her – the red.

It felt good to look at it. It was real, it was cruel, it was the truth. It gave her strength – strength for him. Because she believed in him and in the truth, she believed in the red, not the liars.

The small red bulb was actually the sad signal of the operation theater being in use. Someone was in there, fighting for life or falling to death….

But that was not the reason Misaki stared at the bulb. She stared because she had to. It was the colour, that cold, creepy, dark, merciless red, it was the colour of Usui's blood as it crawled out of him.

So much red, so much blood, so less hope, so less life…..

How could she not stare?

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><p><strong>dark<strong>

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><p>"<em>Please Usui-san, don't hate me." She was on her knees before him, begging for him to stay and listen. How could she let him go?<em>

"_I do hate you, Misaki." The response was harsh, eating at her heart and oh so cold._

"_No! Please! Please, I'm begging you, I love you. Love you with all my heart. I will do anything you want, anything at all. Just don't leave, don't hate me, master!" She was clawing at his feet, clinging to his leg like she would die if she let go. But he kept walking, dragging her across the floor._

"_I love you, Usui-san. Be my master, please."_

_She was desperate, he was disgusted._

"_Why are you leaving me master? I thought…I…I thought you loved me too!"_

_At that he stopped. Turning around a little, he put his irritated eyes on her filthy body at his feet._

_Smirking at her disgraceful appearance, he shook his head and clicked his tongue. His eyes closed momentarily and when they opened again, they were filled with such malice that she cringed, trembling under his repulsion for her._

_Setting his completely disgusted green eyes on her pleading face, he spat the words that broke her heart into two._

"_I do not need love from the likes. of. you."_

_Crack! Was it her imagination or had her heart actually made that awful sound?_

_His lay his boot on her chest and glared down at her until she cringed in fear and hurt. Scowling at her weak body, he kicked her chest hard and sent her sprawling across the dirt. The force of his fury did not hold any mercy or pity. He was a heartless man, the one she loved._

"_Master, please…." She whispered, unable to say anything more, dirty, filthy, hurt, lowly – she was just a maid._

_His hatred remained in his eyes, not moved by humanity. "I don't need you, my filthy little maid. You're not but a piece of dirt. But thanks for the entertainment." He laughed heartily at her tears and then vanished into thin air..._

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><p><strong>dark <strong>

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><p>"Misaki!"<p>

Her eyes flew open to the sound of her name.

Eyes aghast, Misaki realized she was gasping for air. Sweat was dripping down her forehead and she was trembling out of control. Her lips were moving at a fast speed but the the voice had died in her throat. Where was she? What happened? Where did Usui go?

"It was just a dream! You're fine, just breathe Misaki. It was only a nightmare, you were dreaming." Sakura's panicked voice called out to her, hurting her ears but forcing her rushed brain to comprehend.

A nightmare? Yeah, that must be it. She had been dreaming about begging Usui to stay, but he left her alone. Really, some dream. But considering the present condition – _his _condition – she could justify the turn her thoughts had taken.

He left her in her dream didn't mean he would leave her in actual life. Right?

Even though now she knew it was only her imagination (thanks to her insecurities), Usui's cruel rejection had left a dagger in her heart and she knew she couldn't take it out. The only person who could remove the bloody dagger and mend her wounded heart was lying lifeless in the operation theater, fighting for his own heart.

Rubbing her eyes and shaking her head, Misaki tried to block out the new worries. The only thing she should care about now was Usui and that was exactly what she decided to do. Her stupid reservations could wait for now.

Looking around she took in her surroundings. The bulb was still glowing and there was still no news on Usui's condition. She must have dozed off only for a few minutes considering everyone was exactly in the same positions as before. Why was this operation taking so long? Was that a good thing? If the doctors were taking so long there must be a lot to attend to, right? That meant that there was still hope, something could be mended. But could it mean that there was so much damage that the cure wouldn't end at all? Was it even curable?

No, she wouldn't think about the latter, she would only hope for the best as her aching heart feared the worst.

'_This is Usui that we're talking of. He's strong as hell and stubborn as a mule. He is an outer space perverted alien. A small little fall can't kill him.' _Misaki thought.

She didn't think _'It was 35 feet, that was far from small.'_

'_He's jumped before too. He lived through it easily._' she thought.

She didn't think _'It hadn't been easy. He had been admitted to the hospital for a month. He had been infected and critical for 2 hours. And that was before the roof was renovated. It had been 20 feet then, it was 35 now. Plus he had landed in a tree and then water, not hit the floor.'_

'_He wont even have a scar. He'll be fine, he's Usui.' _she thought_._

She didn't think _'If he was going to be fine then why was he still in the I.C.U.? Why was he still critical? Why was there no news?'_

'_He'll be fine, he'll be fine, he is Usui Takumi!'_

Usui had always been right – she was a pathetic liar. She couldn't even lie to herself.

And the same Usui Takumi whose eyes had pierced the hearts of so many females had been under operation for over 5 hours now, his eyes shut to the world. Nobody in the waiting room knew what was happening behind the closed doors. All they knew was that Usui was fighting for his life. And they believed Usui to be the perfect man. If he fought, he won. So he would be all right.

But a certain heart shaped beauty wasn't as optimistic. She prayed and prayed but didn't dare to hope. How could she hope when she knew the truth? The truth of what had happened on the roof. She continued to lie to herself.

Like the others she believed that Usui could get anything he wanted. He was everything a guy could ever dream to be. He was perfect, fearless, he wanted, he could get. But that did not mean Usui would live.

Unlike the others, Misaki could not believe that Usui wanted to live. She prayed that he did but prayers did not turn the irrational to rational. She wanted Usui to live but a simple argument clashed with her wishes. If Usui wanted to live, he could have. He wouldn't have to be here in the hospital.

She knew the truth of what had happened on that dammed roof. She had been the only eye witness. She knew what the others didn't. She knew the truth behind his downfall – he hadn't fallen, Usui Takumi had voluntarily jumped off the roof. Nothing that happened was an accident. He had meant to end up like this. Usui had wanted to end his life. And yeah, he always got what he wanted.

'_Noooo, no no no! I can't think about such things, __**he will be fine**__!' _

Trying to block out her pessimism, Misaki finally noticed all the worried eyes looking in her direction.

"I'm fine, everyone. It was just a dream." She spoke, aiming for reassurance. But what she got were unconvinced looks. Really, she would have to learn to lie.

"I really am okay. It was a bad one and I was stressed so I freaked. But I'm allright now. Besides, I'm not the one you should be worrying about." As Misaki spoke the last sentence her throat dried up, turning it into a scared whisper. Like her, everyones eyes shifted to the door of the operation theater – the one that they were begging would open to reveal good news. But common sense clashed with their wishful thoughts – no matter what, it could not be good.

Misaki noticed that even though they all stopped staring, they didn't believe her lies. And she didn't blame them either. Her fake assurances had sounded baseless to her own ears. Her voice was hollow – haunted by reality. How could she have ended up like this? How could Ayuzawa Misaki, the stone hearted demon prez, the guy hater have fallen so completely for a man?

The answer was a simple fact – it wasn't any man, it was Usui Takumi.

Misaki smiled a shallow smile as she mused over what Usui was. He was perfect. There really was no other word for him. Acting like an absurd outer space alien with a smart mouth and wits, driving her mad with the insane teasing, irritating her with his taunting jibes and even enraging her to the point of hitting him with his too frank accusations. He was everything that drove her mad.

He was better than her, stronger than her and sharper than her. Best in studies, best in sports. He was handsome. He was popular. He didn't mess up and kept his calm even when she panicked. He was everything she was jealous of.

He was the best but he wasn't proud. He had everything but was not a show-it-off. He was a tough body with a molten heart and an inexpressive face with vibrant, alive eyes. He was a puzzle she could not sort while he read her like an open book. He caught her when she fell and supported her when she rebelled. He saved her, then teased her. He picked her up and took her into his arms, driving away her responsibilities, burdens, fears, reservations and denials and made her a part of himself. And now, he was a part of her heart, a conspicuous, demanding part that made her a happy person.

He was everything that she wanted…and as she looked at the closed doors between them, a small voice inside of her spoke - _ he was everything she could never have..._

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><p><strong>dark<strong>

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><p>Time passed, another hour went by…there was no news, the red kept glowing.<p>

For about a hundredth time since 'the accident', Misaki found the fall starting to replay itself in front of her eyes. It was so terrifying, watching him plunge to death of his own will, again and again and again. Why didn't it ever get less haunting? She didn't want to watch but she didn't have a choice.

"I don't want to be loved." Usui's voice rang in her ears, so different, so lost.

She met his eyes – they were empty. There was nothing in them, nothing at all.

No anger.

No love.

No fear.

No life.

As good as dead…..

And then he jumped.

That was it. One second he was there and the next he was gone, just falling down down down…

She didn't see him fall – she couldn't see anything but those two empty eyes. Something was very very wrong, he was so hollow….

And then it hit her – Usui had plunged off the roof! She ran up to the edge and saw him become smaller and smaller. He didn't scream, didn't protest, just let the wind take him down. He got even smaller, too small.

He hit the floor before she could blink – not the tree, not the water, the concrete floor. A loud thud sounded as Usui was abandoned by the wind and accepted by the ground – the ground that could be the last one he ever fell on. The best man she ever knew hit his doom.

She also heard a sickening crack, like a tree branch snapping off – but it wasn't a branch, it was his skull.

The sound she did not hear was of his voice. It would tease her, irritate her, embarrass her…..anything? But there was only a deathly silence.

He hadn't even screamed, Usui had again suffered alone. Somehow his only companion was always his loneliness.

Of all the horrible sounds that could have terrified her, the stony silence was the one that did.

Usui lay 35 feet below, completely immobile.

He hadn't moved an inch since he had hit the floor.

He did not get up.

She could not tear her eyes away.

He was going to get up and tease her, she knew.

5 minutes gone…..

He would get up any second now.

5 more…

Really, it was gonna happen, just wait. He was about to rise.

And 5 more…..

Just wait, just wait, he wouldn't die.

And 5 more…..

He never got up.

But the red kept moving out. It was crawling on the floor, like tainting a temple and bathing Usui in his own dark blood. It flowed from the best man she had ever known and grew in all directions, mixing with the blue of the water, turning it the same sickly red.

Misaki stared at the whiter than ash, deathly still figure lying 35 feet below and drenched in the never ending blood. It never moved an inch, never took a breath….

And suddenly it hit home to her heart – Usui was dead.

Usui was dead.

He was dead, that was it, he just died, he was DEAD!

The man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with…

Wanted to hold…..

Wanted to kiss…..

Wanted to love….

Wanted to die with, in his arms….

…..was dead himself. So she collapsed.

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><p><strong>dark<strong>

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><p>Misaki opened her eyes form another nightmare. Only that she had already seen this one for more times than she ever wanted and it was painfully real. It was a nightmare that didn't come with sleep. It was a nightmare that couldn't be fictional. She could open her eyes but she could not wake out of it – it was her life.<p>

Misaki sighed heavily. It had been a sunny day, she loved those days. She woke and decided to work hard for the upcoming evaluation. She admitted she loved him and Usui jumped off to his doom. Where had these dark clouds come from?

It had been a beautiful morning, happiness unleashed. So airy, so light….how could she have ever predicted this? Just another day and a great one at that. The sun that she adored had been shining so bright, so high. So where was he now? Why was darkness consuming her? Why was she so alone?

A small little pin pierced her heart and left her with a gaping hole. Her sun, so bright, so high, had fallen. And now he was fighting to hold on to his brightness.

The sun had gone down and she, its moon, was now alone in the darkness. How could she shine without his light?

She would probably collapse and….Wait! She had collapsed! After Usui fell, she had just collapsed. What happened after that? How did he end up in the hospital?

"Kanou? You said you found me on the roof. How?" Misaki couldn't be sure but she did remember Kanou's face staring at her with wide eyes. What had made him stare, she did not know. She did not remember anything about herself at all. But she was sure Kanou had been there.

"I heard you scream. So I ran up to see if you were alright." Kanou hesitated, pulling himself together as Misaki met his gaze, asking him to continue. She wanted to know but at the same time she dreaded what she knew was coming.

"I hadn't expected to find you in such a state. It was bad, you were hysterical. And so pale. Prez, you were lying on the floor, screaming like crazy and you were also trembling. Very much. I didn't know what to do, it was just so scary. You were terrified and crying so badly. Wailing, screaming, shrieking even. I've seen prez so terrified of anything. There was no one around and I couldn't see any physical injury but you won't stop screaming, it didn't make sense. You didn't even know I was there until I called out to you. And all you said – no scearmed - was his name. But Usui-kun wasn't anywhere around. So I put two and two together and looked down the roof. He was…he was so….I saw him. So I called an ambulance."

Kanou sounded just as lost as herself, Misaki noted. She wasn't bothered about what the others thought of her. All she could think about was the loss. The loss of Usui. And prayed that it was reparable, not permanent. She prayed like she had never prayed before. She prayed for his life and in a way for her own.

For Kanou, the world had altered in only a couple of hours. Usui, the intelligent, strong, charming and the most talented Sieka student was now lying in a hospital with hardly any hop for him. Kanou too, could not hope. He too had seen. He had seen Usui lying on the floor in a pool of blood. There had been a lot of blood – more than what a person could live without. It was a dead fall from about 35 feet and Usui was but human – it was foolish to hope.

"How much blood?" a small voice interrupted Kanou's thoughts and left his heart cold. He couldn't answer that. There was no way he could say that there was so much blood that they all should book a funeral ground and buy black clothes to mourn for Usui instead of wait like idiots. He didn't say anything.

"How much blood, Kanou?" Misaki asked again. Her voice was even more terrified but there was an authority in it that he could not deny. Her eyes were burning into his, dreading his answer but still demanding that he answer. Misaki was still Misaki.

And she deserved to know how much…

"Enough."

Kanou averted his eyes, unable to look at her gaping mouth. One word from his lips had torn her heart to shreds, like he had known it would.

Misaki nodded and looked away too, putting up a strong front and ignoring the tears that rolled down her cheeks. They were irrationaol, the tears. What Kanou told her she had already known. Why then was she crying now?

Because somehow, having her fears spoken out broke her resolve. And here she had been thinking that she couldn't hurt anymore than she already was.

'_Baka, Usui! Why? Why did you do this, how could you do this? Couldn't you see my love? Didn't you know what you meant to me? Why are you leaving me? Don't you love me too? Why are you hiding? Don't you want me anymore? You said you liked me, why then did you leave me cold? I want you, I love you, can't you see that? You said you would never leave my side then why am I so alone now? Where are you? I need you, you pervert! Just come out and hold me Usui. I'm begging you, don't leave me, don't leave me. Hold me Usui and never let go. I want you, to hold you, kiss you, love you and show you what you mean to me. I wont hit you, I promise. I'll never argue. Whatever you want, I'll do it. Please just don't leave me, come back. Stop hiding Usui, come for me. Come out and hold me and kiss me and lay me to sleep. Hit me, punch me, hate me but don't leave me. Don't leave, don't die, don't die, don't die...'_

"**Don't die, Usui!" **Misaki screamed. Her heart was pounding, her head swimming, nothing made sense, he was leaving her, why was he leaving her?

Kanou lay a reassuring hand on her shoulder, Sakura rubbed her back, Yukimura spoke kind words, the teachers sympathized with her and the student council spoke encouraging words but she did not feel anything. Everything seemed far far away. She was running for the one thing hat she wanted and that was him. She wanted only the man she loved and she kept running but she could never reach him. His hand was visible, outstretched, but no matter how fast she ran she couldn't reach it. She gave everything she had but it still wasn't good enough, she couldn't find him and he was slipping away. And then the hand started retreating and she ran even faster, she couldn't breathe, she needed to stop but he was leaving so she kept running. She ran like she had run after her father but he had left her alone.

The hand vanished, she fell to the floor, he was gone again, she was alone again…..

Misaki didn't scream. She stopped crying. She stopped trembling. She stopped praying. It was already too late.

The red vanished – the operation was over. The doors to the operation theater opened and a team of doctors walked out, their faces grim.

"Is Usui-kun okay?"

"Will he be fine?"

"How is he?"

"Is he conscious?"

"Is Usui-san going to be alright?"

Everyone had a question but she had none. They were bouncing on their feet but she remained on the floor on which she had fallen. What was the use of getting up just to fall again?

The most important question remained unspoken – "Is he alive?"

"I am going to be frank, I think. His condition is not looking good. There has been immense blood loss so he is on blood. Over 50 bones have been broken. 53 to be accurate. One of the broken ribs has pierced his left lung and so he is breathing through a breathing tube. There is also a dislocated shoulder and more bruises than we could account for. Our main concern though is his head. There is a lot of internal swelling and he has a full blown concussion. With the deficient blood and immense damage, it might be too much for the body. If he falls into a coma, he might never wake up. The body is not responding to treatment and it is important for him to get conscious but sadly, that is not happening. Despite our best efforts, Takumi is still unconscious. The swelling is increases. At this rate, we can't say anything. His pulse is getting slower and if he does not open his eyes within 3 hours, it could be too late. And lastly, the biggest threat is infection. We are cleaning his wounds in every 1 hour to prevent that. The simple truth is if he gets an infection, it'll take a miracle to save him."

The only response to the doctor's speech was an all-consuming silence. The unspoken fears had been spoken. The spell had been cast and the suffering doubled up. No miracle happened, he was going to die. The doctor never said so but Misaki could see it in his eyes – Usui wasn't going to survive.

"What are his chances of getting an infection?" This was the first question she asked and it was going to be the last. She already knew what the doctor would say.

"High."

The doctor's eyes met hers and the silent question in them. Misaki had one last question – was Usui going to live? – but she didn't need to ask. Her eyes spoke what her mouth couldn't and the doctor's eyes read it.

"Only time can tell, my dear." His voice was soft but Misaki's mind only registered the words.

The doctors left but she didn't know.

She was lifted off the floor and seated but she didn't know.

Sakura started to cry but she didn't know.

She was crying herself but she didn't know.

She was trembling but she didn't know.

She curled into a ball but she didn't know.

She mumbled on and on but she didn't know.

All she knew was – he was dying.

He was going to die. He was going to leave her be. He was going to walk away. He was leaving her cold. Just like her father...

He was leaving, he was leaving, he was dying...What would time tell?

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><p><strong>Time, in the blink of an eye<br>You held my hand, you held me tight  
>Now you're gone and I'm still crying<br>Shocked, broken, I'm dying inside**

**Why did you go?  
>All these questions run through my mind<br>I wish I couldn't feel at all  
>Let me be numb, I'm starting to fall<strong>

**Where are you? I need you**  
><strong>Don't leave me here on my own<strong>  
><strong>Speak to me, be near me<strong>  
><strong>I can't survive unless I know you're with me<strong>

**Shadows linger  
>Only to my eye<br>I see you, I feel you  
>Don't leave my side<strong>

**-'Haunted' by 'Kelly Clarkson'**

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><p><strong>So how was it? I'm not very satisfied with this chapter but I decided I had taken long enough so I posted it! Let me know if there are spelling mistakes or grammatical errors, I'll correct them. Thank you all for reading, continue reading and leaving such beautiful reviews. Pls do review guys. <strong>

**Lastly, a thanks to all my reviewers, I really appreciate them and if it wasn't for you guys I'd probably give up on the story! 21 reviews, YAY! And a special thanks to 'Sweettweet07' for being a great encouragement. I'm not gonna lie - if it wasn't for the awesome reviews and Sweettweet07's persuasion, this chappie may have never come. So thank you all, I hope you liked this as well.**

**Also, I will be posting a one-shot hurt story on Usui's feelings after Misaki left him for Tora in 'Sweettweet07's story – "You Bleed Just To Know You're Alive" if any of u r interested, let me know. I haven't thought of a name yet but I will soon. I'll keep it to myself if you all don't want to read or it offends anyone. It has been written with the author's full permission. If interested you may let me know.**

**So review everyone, may God bless. Review for usui! Let me know if any of you cried. You can't give Usui your blood, but you can give him your love, just click the purple button!**

**-dark**


	3. Discontinuation Notice

Hello everyone. I'm quite ashamed of myself for letting you all down but this story stands discontinued for the time being. Most of you probably gave up on this already due to my long absense. I truly apologize for that as well. It was quite insensitive of me to just vanish. I apologize to everyone who was attached to this story, who cried, who promoted this even, I'm very sorry.

Also, I will not be deleting this story. I'm quite attached to it too. But what I'd thought I'd do with the plot doesn't work for me any more. I do not wish to write what I don't believe in. I promise to continue if I come up with something that inspires me. But for now this is how it is.

If anyone has anything to say to this, you can PM me or drop a comment. I shall get back to you. That's all for now everyone.


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